“NOBODY INVITES ME TO THEIR PARTIES"

Yesterday, when I woke up at 2pm around and checked my WhatsApp, I found a message from one of my friends about Sushant Singh Rajput’s suicide. Even before I could get off the bed, I quickly checked it on Google and wished it was fake, but unfortunately, it wasn’t. All through the day, I went through Twitter, Google and multiple News Channels to know what had really happened. They say he committed suicide and medicines to treat depression were found from his house.

This is not the first time I have heard about the shocking and untimely death of someone. Every time, I get any such bad news, I become silent because I could never figure out what to say. I have sympathies but no words to express. But Sushant’s death has affected me. I remember that I followed him on Instagram since his movie M.S. Dhoni – The Untold Story was released, and I really liked his acting. I felt like he did justice to the character.

Today, there had been hundreds of posts from my friends, acquaintances, Bollywood Celebs, and others praying for his soul to rest in peace and requesting others to be kind and caring towards our near and dear ones. But there was one such post that really caught my eye. A picture of the actor with the text “nobody invites me to their parties”. I quickly Googled again to check if he ever said that! I came across one of his interviews from the year 2016. On asking if he still feels like an outsider by the reporter, Sushant stated, “No, I have started getting invited to these parties, so I guess I’m improving a lot”. Reading this, I was like what, was being invited to parties was really a deal? No, it wasn’t. The real deal might have been the feeling of being left out and not being good enough.

I remember he used to share on his IG page that he was going through some bad times and to overcome it, he started practicing meditation and a few other remedies for self-healing. He once shared a list of things he wanted to do. He would also post a picture every day about his progress. Seeing all his posts, I would think, “Oh these people also face such challenges but it is really brave of him to put all this on social media and let his fans know he was going through some low point in his life. People must have been really judgmental”. If I would have posted any such thing, people would have commented “Oh, get a life!” or “Choti choti baaton ke baare me itna load nahi lete”.  

Today, when I checked his Insta page, there were none of those posts. What really made me feel bad was that from his posts, I saw he had problems, but he was trying. Trying hard enough to bounce back.

No matter how many of us advise others to communicate or talk when they have problems, but in reality, either it is us who are not able or available to help or them who feel nobody would really understand and they sink deep into those killing thoughts. And it all came back to me. All those thoughts and feelings that used to depress me and make me cry in bed silently so nobody could know if I was upset about something. These thoughts are the viruses that eat us up from the inside.

Have we become so rude to others just to make ourselves look cooler? That we vibe with society. That we are so strong on the outside but even the smallest of comments make us feel dejected. We don’t know what the other person is going through. And it can be anything – finances, relationships, physical appearance, emotional or physical abuse, work, or some medications. We don’t know if someone had a dysfunctional childhood, if they are having conflicts with their partners, if they feel inferior seeing others doing good in life or just overthinking about something they did 5 years back.

So far, we don’t know the exact reason behind him taking this huge step and I wonder what all those newcomers in the industry and the actors who are not as successful as Sushant must have been going through. Life is so fragile, and it does not come with an undo option. I just wish we can be a little more kind to others and love ourselves a little more every day.

Diwali 2017 Kuch Achha Laayi Hai

Jab saal 2016 ka end kharab hone laga to muje samajh aa chuka tha ki 2017 ke bhi lagne wale hain. Nahi nahi koi negativity wali baat nahi haai, instinct hai jispe yakeen karne ki salaah humein sab dete hain! To bina mann chota kiye mene 2017 planout kar liya tha. Waqt tha ab mere pas jise mene socha tha ki hobby classes or self development me utilize kiya jaega. Kuch hadd tak hua bhi, par jab samay sath nahi deta to kaam bhi nahi ban paate.

Bigadte kaam, ek ke baad ek hone wale nuksaan, mom dad ki nasaaz tabiyat or tuchhi cheezo me swaaha hoti savings ne dimag ka balance kharab karna shuru kar diya tha. Par humesha ki tarah bas ek hi baat rehti mann me ‘be patient, bura waqt hai nikal jaega!’ Ese karte karte 10 mahine nikal gaye.. Diwali aa gayi.. pata nhi 2017 ko kis baat ki jaldi thi. 

Dekho, Diwali pe sirf bachho ke maze hote hain humare liye to kaam badh jata hai. Safai, shopping, long weekend ke pehle kaam niptane ka pressure, online sale pe wishlist banane ka tension, gift, mithayi, rangoli ki design, ghar-office ka decoration or kis din kya pehne uska bhi tension. Back to back festivals niptane k bad ghar ki safai kyuki bhaiya diwali aane wali hai.. laxmiji aaengi.  2016 me bewakoof banaya tha laxmiji ne is saal nahi banane denge. Kona kona saaf kar denge. 2018 me Bill Gates banna h humko! But jesa ki mene kaha.. samay sath hi nahi de raha hai.. usko race jeetni h! To apan nhi kar paaye achhe se safai. But iska matlab ye nahi ki mere pas paise nahi aaenge.. my mother’s logic came to rescue!

Bachpan me mummy ya Nani ne bataya tha ki Dhanteras ya Diwali ke din chipkali (lizard) ko dekhne se, aane wale samay me dhan laabh hota hai. Wese to meri bahot behes hoti hai in sab baato ko leke. Pehle valid reason batao warna mujpe ye sab mat thopo. Wo kya hai ki mene mummy or Nani se 4 kitaabein zyada padhi hai.. wo bhi angrezi wali to hum khud ko family ka “The Face of Change” samjhte hain. 

Khair, wo chipkali wali baat aaj bhi dimag me ghar kar ke baithi hui thi. Sham ko jab ghoom firke ghar pohnche to dekha ghar ke main door ke baaju me chipkali. Mere anadar ka laalchi insaan jaag gaya. Abhi tak jo mene hit spray kar karke cockroach, chipkali or cheetiyaan maari thi ab me is chipkali ko bade hi prem se nihaar rahi thi. Paise laegi na aane wale samay me. Ab kehne wale kahenge ki ye to dakiyanoosi baatein hain, par ye humare shastron me bhi likha hai.  Or doobte ko tinke ka sahara mila hai!  Saaf bta du ki mene The Secret padhi bhi hai or dekhi bhi hai !

Aapko kya lagta hai? Kya aap bhi kono me ghus ghus k chipkali dhundhoge? Shayad a chipkaali may change your life!

2017 hum me se bahot sare logo ke liye achha nahi raha lekin muje bharosa hai ki 2018 achha hoga. Ye Diwali laayi hai ek nayi ummeed!

Diwali ke ye 3 din, mann se bair or gumm nikalein or ek nayi shuruwat ki taraf badhein. Patakhe kam se kam jalayein or khushiyaa baatein! Happy Diwali :)

5 saal baad

Namaste,

Humara naam Varsha hai. Or log pyaar se humein Bhatu bulate hain. Aaj kareeb 5 saal baad humne dubara kuch likhna chaha to socha ki kyu na shuruwat apne bare me hi bata k ki jaaye. 

Ab hum 25 saal ke ho gaye hain. Jeevan ki silver jubilee 2 mahine pehle ho chuki hai jiski party dost abhi tak maang rahe hain! Or life me cheeze jo hain wo workout nahi ho pa rahi hain. MBA hai jo khatam nahi ho pa raha. Salary hai jo badh nahi pa rahi, dost hain jinki stupid harkate humse sehen nahi ho pa rahi. Family hai jo ki byaao karane ke peeche padi hai or khwab jo hain wo din-b-din tamannaaon me tabdeel hone lage hain. 

Agar qualification ki baat karein to UG se leke PG tak humne sirf mass communication or media dekha suna padha khaya piya hai. Is baat pe humare teachers kabhi agree nahi karenge kyuki hum college sirf muh dikhane jate the. Iska karan humne humare purane article me bataya hai.  Graduation ke 2nd semester se hi ghus gaye the hum naha dhoke field me. Kabhi radio me internship to kabhi event management. Fir kabhi short film or blogging to kabhi public relation.

Par ab jo hai mamla zara sangeen ho gaya hai. Esa scene ban gaya hai mano ki hum kisi registan me apne saathiyon se bichadh gye hain. Humare pas compass nhi hai direction dekhne ke liye or aasman me pole star b badalon me chup gaya hai! Ab jeevan me na nasha hi raha h or na hi beer ka swaad bhaata hai.

Esa nahi hai ki hum is sab se nikalna nahi chahte. Hum hath paer maar rahe hain ye soch ke ki shayad koi daao lag jaye nishane pe. Tootti himmat or khatam hote patience ko bachane ke liye humne insta se leke pinterest tak har jagah motivational quotes padh liye hain. Jaha thodi motivation milti hai or koi kaam karne jate hain to chaar logo ka muh fool jata hai fir sala panauti shuru ho jati hai. Or helplessness to itni ho gayi hai ki ab rona nahi hasi aati hai ki 25 saal ki umra me aake humari zindagi ka meme ban gaya hai!

Shayad hum sabhi k jeevan me esa phase aata hai jab hum samajh nahi pate ki zindagi ko kis taraf le jana chahiye. Hum sare permutation combination laga dete hain solution nikaalne me. Bas humara jeevan bhi isi padaav pe hai. Hum na to depressed hain or na hi frustrate bas thode clueless hain. Har roz ganpati bappa se yahi prarthana karte hain ki bas koi raasta dikhado, uspe chal to hum khud hi lenge. Par wo bhi abhi humari maze lene me laga hai.

Wese shayad humne abhi tak btaya nahi ki humari ek badi behen or ek choti behen bhi hai. Jo badi behen hai uska ek hi sapna hai ki hum shadi karle or jo choti behen hai usko jeevan me mehez do hi dikkatein hain. Ek ki uske pas achhe kapde nahi hote to wo aaye din humse koi na koi dress mangne aa jati hai or dusra ki usko AC wale room me sona hota hai. Bataiye ab inka kya karein. Yahan jeevan k law lag gaye hain or inko shadi or AC room ki padi hai. 

Baharhaal, humare ek mitra hain Madhur Kakwani, jo isse nikalne ke liye humein aaye din naye naye sujhaw dete hain. Kabhi kehte hain ki tu Mumbai chale ja to kabhi kehte hain ki khud ka startup daal le. Or ek dusre mitra hain Rishi Mishra jisne humein ye sikhaya h ki hum sabhi k jeevan ka indradhanush bheeshan varsha ke baad hi nikalta hai. Hum bhi besabri se intezaar kar rahe hain ki kab ye Hurricane Harvey humare jeevan se jaega.

Hum ummeed karte hain ki 2018 ki February humare jeevan me bhi basant laaegi!! 

Jald hi milenge jeevan k kisi naye kaand ke saath. Tab tak ke liye shubhratri!

 Ulfat.. Love to be with! <3


Dost aksar puchte hain
Akhir tu rehta kahan hai?
College tu aata nahi
Job tu karta nahi
Late hi sahi
Par aaya to kar
Muh dikhayi karke chale jaa!

Mene koshish to bahot ki
Par kese batau
Apni iss ulfat ke baare me
Uff kitni badi hai ye!
Dar-asal,
Kasoor sab us neend ka hai
Jo apne khubsurat khwabo ki baahon me
Mujhe jakde rehti hai..
Or jab neend khulti hai
Bewafa alarm ghadi ki suiyyon
Thakur ki muchon ki tarah
Do me dus ki der dikhati hain!
Aur galti se uth bhi jau waqt pe
To gaadi ka tel ditch kar deta hai..

Kabhi kabhi
Apni girlfriend ko
Badi minnaton se manata hu
Par ye traffic
Huh,
First lecture miss ho jata hai..
Aur baki ke teen lectures se
Teacher bhaga dete hain!

Aur meri badnasibi to dekho
Muddaton bad
Jab time pe college pohnchta hu
Tab class nahi lagti
Aur..
Aur agar class lag bhi jaye
To kambkhat attendnce nahi hoti.

Aaj fir bade dino bad aaya hu college
Wo bhi time pe
First lecture bhi attend kiya
Or attendence bhi mili

Ssshhh..
Ab aage ki dastaan
To Be Continued!
Lecturer aa gaya hai
Class attend karlu..

Yes, I Conquered The World !

Himmat Sodhi, one of my dear friends, used to tell me alot about Jaam Gate and I always wondered what and how is it! Finally, Rishi, Sam & I decided to explore it and reached Mhow!

After having delicious parathas in our breakfast at Himmat's place, we began our adventure trip to Jaam Gate & Choral.

[Waha ek Great Wall of Mhow bhi thi :D]

Around 4kms from Mhow, we stopped at a filling station at Bargonda, to make sure our bikes contained enough fuel & air! Before we could got on our bikes, Himmat told us about Nakhedi Dam who himself had never been there! It was just 1km from the station. So we decided to go there! 

Nakhedi was a small dam with some natural beauty around so we moved on to our way to Choral which was some 5kms away. The way to Choral village was beautiful. Small lakes and streams, landscapes but that was just the beginning! On reaching Choral, all we heard were waves hitting the banks and I humming the lines, ''Saare gharonde ret k.. Lehre aayi.. Lehron me beh gaye..''. 

We photomaniacs reached its shore, clicking a number of pictures, sat on a stone for a while and enjoyed the breeze! In some time, we again got on our bikes and moved towards Jaam Gate, the final destination. 

Those never ending narrow roads with so many turns and twists seemed so awesome that I wished to stop my bike and spend my entire evening doing camping, playing guitar, if only I knew how to playit!:D 

 

How can I forget to mention that small accident we survived and the madness of clicking and capturing every single moment! Yes, our riders, Sam & Rishi, were so lost in speeding their bikes up that Rishi & I almost collided with a van. But luckily, we were saved but Rishi got some scratches on his neck from a tree.

We, the chatter boxes, dint spoke a word on our way thereafter because we were so lost in the beauty of nature that we didnt realised when we reached Jaam Gate!

It was awesome, extremely mindblowing and fantabulous when we looked around. We saw those hills touching the sky, clouds beneath our feet. We felt like we have conquered the world!

There wasnt anything written about its history but all I came to know that it was constructed for security and Devi Ahilya Bai used to stay there during her way to Mandleshwar Temple. We climbed the stairs and I have no words to explain how I felt when I reached its top. We sat their for an hour or so discussing about our lives. Yeah, I know that was a heavy and mature thing but yes we did talked about it!

It was such an awesome day. I always wanted to go the Grand Canyon, Palau Islands, Spain but never had an idea I'm gonna do it soon!

If you too wanna have the feeling of Rang De Basanti, feeling of conquering the world you must visit Jaam Gate. You definitly gonna overcome all your fears. But make sure your rider is talkative enough or take some crazy people along with you to make most out of such a trip!

 

In Love With Chai [Bar]

Looking out of window with a cup of tea in hand n thinking what makes me so crazy about this place is the only thing happening in my life these days.

24 January 2012 8:32 pm was the moment we entered in. things were still under construction as the scheduled opening was on 26th Jan 2012.

We were walking like any usual day. calculating the length of 56 area with our steps.  Suddenly a flex board appeared in front of me that said “The Chai bar”.
‘The Chai Bar’ What kinda name is this?, was my first reaction when i heard the name and my curiosity bug started itching me from inside. And as it would happen in any similar situation we decided to explore this strange place.

We entered in an entirely different interior concept. Every corner is unique in itself. Lavish bar counter in the left accompanied by long stools.

Giving you an awesome feeling of bar environment. Wooden tables lined up in a row in the left corner, golden aura spread around  by the golden dim lights and classy music adding to the mood.

You look up and it seems like someone just snapped your tea table and pasted it on the ceiling flipped vertically.

After spending almost all my evenings here at chai bar since last 4 months, the craze still continues. I always wonder if its the ambience, my frnz or jst the chai. Groups of ppl chating giggling together!

Another loving thing about the place is variety of chai n my favourite the Wada Pav. One cannot realise how time passes away. “Velapanti bhi jaruri hai!” ’cause its really strange for one to travel 10 kms to have a cup of tea.. daily! Insane people you see :p

I’m eagerly waiting for monsoons to appear again going to chai bar, sitting near the window, looking outside, feeling the bliss of rain with a cup of tea in my hand n thinking what makes me so damn crazy about this place!